Two and a half months ago I joined the masses in a grand adventure and embarked (I just spelled embarked with a ‘q’ before spell check corrected me… Embarq you’ve done a heck of a job branding) on the carnivorous trek of hunting – job hunting that is. For reasons I won’t mention here, I left one ‘project’ after 16 months, in the beginning of September. The other ‘project’ failed to receive additional grant monies from the DoD and hence, after 10 months, my position was no longer funded as of September 15th. I say ‘project’ because that is what they were – neither were a career but both were tons o work and tons o fun.
In each venture I poured all of my knowledge, experience, time and energy into my roles. I labeled myself almost entirely by my performance at work. I take pride in my work and just love a job exceptionally well done. There is so much to be said for earnest work ethic and I am all too often disappointed with my generations lack here. But alas, there is a difference between pride and obsession and I was more than just standing on that border.
And so I have begun to take inventory of some of my labels. The most obvious label, of course, being defined by my output. We all walk around with labels – labels that we choose for ourselves but far too often we walk around with labels that we have allowed other people to choose for us. False, unidentified labels that determine how we make decisions, how we interact with peers, how we spend our time, what we value, our self esteem barometer, how we respond to people in authority. These false, unidentified labels are the most dangerous. I don’t mean dangerous as physical harm but more emotional harm.
My performance based label meant my value of self was exceptionally low when work was rocky. And I was hard on myself. Ask Christine, she can attest. And not having a job, not having that false foundation I had almost entirely built my self-worth on? Hard. Life lesson: don’t build my foundation of value on shaky environments – i.e. work.
In the meantime of the carnivorous trek of job hunting, I dabble. I am learning the art of cooking – what a feat (for me at least)! I have picked up beloved hobbies once set aside for more scholastic pursuits: crafting – working with my hands, dancing, and reading. Activities I once loved and am rediscovering. I am investing my time in meaningful friendships instead of my desk. I am 26 years old I am creating new labels. :)
My call to action: Take inventory of your labels. How do you define your worth? We all wear them, both good and bad – not ever indifferent.
